Kenny didn't kill that child.. He loves kids.

They reveal what life was like for the brothers growing up in Edinburgh, the day he committed murder, and why he'll never be able to forgive himself for taking shop assistant Arlene Koestner's life while high on LSD. Tom also reveals how he overcame his doubts that Kenny was innocent of killing two-year-old Cynthia Collins in an arson attack.

My childhood

TOM and Kenny grew up in Edinburgh. As youngsters, both boys were affected by the divorce of their parents, mum Eileen, now 60, and American dad Jim, 66. When he was 17, Tom set off for America to start a new life with older brother Kenny, then 20. I was a shy child. Self-conscious. It was a happy childhood, marked by a few bumps in the road that I'm sure most children have. Witnessing the breakdown of my parents marriage was probably the most traumatising thing. My dad left one morning after he took us on a weekend camping trip. I knew he had left for good. As it turned out his next letter came from America. I was 14 then. My mum disliked America and wanted to keep us at home, while my dad urged us to join him. In the end Kenny and I decided to go to America because we had the feeling the grass was greener on the other side. But having lived here all I can say is It's a nice place to visit, but that's it. Home is where the heart is. America was new and unfamiliar, and I believe this was the attraction for me. I liked to travel. At 17 I joined the army. I had intended on joining the British Army originally but my dad talked me out of it as I'd have to go to Northern Ireland for a year. I wasn't afraid of going to war but I didn't fancy the idea of receiving pot-shots. Besides, the American Army offered better pay and opportunities and it would feel like an extended holiday in a foreign country.

My terrible crime

IN September 1986, Tom gunned down an American shop assistant in cold blood while high on LSD. After fleeing from the store he admits the realisation of what he had done hit him like a rush of cold water. I began crying and then I pressed the gun to my head. I put pressure on the trigger but lacked the courage to pull it. I made the decision to accept the consequences of my actions. It was the right thing to do. The next afternoon I met two detectives at the base and I confessed. I didn't realise the state would push to execute me. They charged me with aggravated murder and attempted felony murder. I received a court-appointed lawyer and almost from the start he urged me to reach a plea bargain. I faced the death penalty for a year then I agreed to a plea bargain in exchange for dropping the death penalty. I received no trial and was sentenced to 65 years, 39 years over the standard range for murder in Washington.

Doubting Kenny's innocence

AFTER Kenny was found guilty of killing two-year-old Cynthia Collins in an arson attack even younger brother Tom questioned his innocence at first. The day I found out about Kenny's arrest my reaction was one of disbelief, shock and pain. All of those things shaken together like a toxic cocktail. Although I didn't speak to Kenny in person we did write to each other. He told me not to worry, that he was innocent, that his arrest and the charges were part of a political campaign by a zealous prosecutor who was running in an election to be a county judge. He was resentful of that and embittered but he didn't believe he'd be found guilty and because of that he didn't take the proceedings as seriously as he should have. I always thought Kenny would be found innocent, not only because of what he'd told me but because it was out of character for him. If you knew Kenny then you would know he likes kids and I couldn't see him knowingly killing a child. When he was found guilty I was stunned. It was following his conviction that a part of me began to doubt his claims of innocence. I had a naive trust in authority and its legal system. I couldn't see how, if he was as innocent as he claimed, everybody could get it wrong. Yet, he knew I'd support him either way so why would he lie to me? I believed him, yet the facts, his very conviction, belied that belief. It wasn't until my dad told me that he thought Kenny was telling the truth that I began to question things. My dad had investigated Kenny's case and talked to several witnesses who contradicted evidence and trial testimony. I wasn't completely convinced of his innocence until I combed through his case myself and began to put pieces together like a puzzle. Only then did I know with certainty that He'd been screwed.

Freedom fight

TOM is tormented by the belief that his conviction for murder influenced the court to condemn his elder brother to Death Row. I began researching Kenny's case in 1990. I asked him to send me his trial transcripts as well as the investigation documents, police and forensic reports and all of the affidavits witnesses had provided since his conviction. It took me several months to comb through everything, and when I had finished, I knew he was innocent. The guilt I carried for putting my brother on Death Row was the driving force that compelled me to help him as much as I was able. I began writing my book ?In the Shadow of the Executioner? after combing through Kenny's case. I found it so unbelievable that he could have been convicted based on all I'd discovered and I felt that it was a story that needed to be told. In spite of everything, Kenny's indomitable spirit continues to shine through. He has stubbornly maintained his innocence and just as stubbornly rejected deals that would have secured his freedom, all because of principle. He was offered a deal in 1998 and earlier this year that would have given him immediate freedom. He rejected these deals because he won't acknowledge guilt for something he didn't do. Some people think he's daft for that - and I might think that, too - but I can't deny admiring him for it.

Coming home

AFTER languishing in an American jail for the best part of 20 years, Tom dreams of returning home to Scotland and a reunion with his mother, who he hasn't seen for 12 years. I absolutely see myself returning to Scotland. First chance I get. America lacks a warm, close-knit culture. It's been described as a melting pot and that's what it is. They have so many intermingling cultures, they often clash. It's less social than Scotland. Scottish culture isn't like this. It has a greater social atmosphere and easy- going lifestyle. I haven't see my mum since 1992. She's been unable to afford the trip. As for my dad he comes once every two or three months but he was recently diagnosed with prostate cancer. They told him he's had it a while, and it may have spread to his lymph nodes and possibly the bone. When he told me I didn't know how to deal with it. I mean, I knew the day would come when one of my parents would die while I remain behind bars. I saw it a long time ago, and as much as I prepared for it, well, you can never be completely prepared can you? I'll miss him, my dad - one of the few who cared to understand me.